What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

WOMENS RIGHTS

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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