Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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whats annoying and black? black people

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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