What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The meme walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops