A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

America Votes

A man walks around a bar.

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

Knock knock

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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