knock knock? come in

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

thumb_up thumb_down +11

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Okay, after this one then...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

give me a thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops