Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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Moooo

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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what is 3+3= 8

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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