What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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FIRE!!

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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A seal walks into a club...

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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56

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops