Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops