Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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The WNBA

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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what's white and sticky semen

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops