What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops