Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Compton

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops