There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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