Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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poop.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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