An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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