How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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