Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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