The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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bologna

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops