Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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human centipede

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Jayden Eccles

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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