Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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