What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops