What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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