What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

How do you make a car? You build it.

What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

i eat poop and i dont care what you think 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111tu9jhrengbae9u-8w0bfduirjwpjawqdtrse75adrc6tvfgyuhijkoplkij9uhn8yb7gtv6rc5ex45cr6fvt7gby8nhu9jmi0ok,m0inub8ytvcrexzwxecdrf6tvg7by8nu9im,opolpmiun8bytvrc534xwz24frv56tb7ny8u9m8,o0m9.by78tvr56ccv6tby7n8/0munby78t6vr5c

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

There was once a man who lived in a box.

What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

Roses are red. Violets are purple

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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