Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

thumb_up thumb_down -43

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Without geometry life would be pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops