So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

Do u take sugar?

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

Lil Wayne's rapping career

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Dyslexics have more nuf!

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Shea's sty....

Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

9/11

How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

A baby seal walks into a club.

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

thomas!!!!

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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