whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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knock knock? come in

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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