A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Women's rights.

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops