What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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