Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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