How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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nipple

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops