walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

a horse walks into a blender ow

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

WOMENS RIGHTS

Bumsniffer

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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