What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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chuck norris

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops