if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops