Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

So I was walking down the road today

What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

Knock knock Go fuck yourself

Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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