Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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