A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Win industrial estate, Newry

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Aaron Pfeifer likes men

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -36

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Poop...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops