American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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This isn't funny.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Terry has ebola

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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