A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops