What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Whose there? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops