A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

Knock, knock. Door opened.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

Knock, knock. Come in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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