what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

david your girlfriend has a nice ass

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops