what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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This statement is false.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Potato!

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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No, Trinidad.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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your mum

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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