A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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187

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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