WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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2 + 2 = fish

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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