What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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The Holocaust

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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Health food.

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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