Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Chinese men having large penis.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops