What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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leon harney ya pikey

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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