Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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Im black

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops