How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops