Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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