Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Sonic

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Where is my tractor?

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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